When the human psyche is traumatized, there is pain, there is fear, and there can be the desire to give up on self, others, life---a manifestation of intense self loathing. The impulse to despair can be confusing since it means that there is no going back; but, this can be a good thing when not going back means leaving behind negative and demeaning attitudes and relationships. The psyche has been described as a vessel full of grace; but obviously there can be far more than grace in there for those who have suffered the ravages of something like childhood emotional and physical neglect and abuse. Self loathing, the horrid feeling of turning anger against the self, is a destructive alternative to facing what has been done to oneself and then working through this pain and dealing with the relationships that have been involved. This is no simple matter since it implicates not only oneself but people with whom we have been or are in relationship. Relational trauma can be one of the worst types of trauma because then we have to deal with the psychological reality that people can make us crazy, can rob us of emotional and spiritual stability and meaning. There is no way around the psychological injury that takes place when we are caught in relationships that are manipulative, cruel, and lacking in understanding. For example, recent research has documented a correlation between those who suffer from eating disorders and those diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive and borderline personality dysfunctions. From having treated individuals who suffer in this way, I recognize that there is often a history of unresolved childhood pain that translates into present day dysfunction with self and relationships. Self loathing in the form of eating disorders and other destructive behaviors can then pop out like a nightmare jack-in-the-box. The human psyche, however, with all of its light and dark energies, has within it the capacity to transform destructive impulses into powerful insights that generate substantial change. Trauma, if we face and experience the truth that it holds for us, can lead us into transformative emotional and spiritual depths in which we confront angels and demons, the potential to come face to face with who we are and who we are not.